This post is dated January, 11, 2012. While this is the day that my dear friend Jill Robertson passed away at the tender age of just 37, it is actually a year later that I finally post this. I have waited to share memories...thinking that time would heal the tears and provide more eloquence in my words. I'm not sure either can be accomplished, so I will simply leave here two previously written letters.
The first letter I wrote to Jill in October, 2011. When Dr's at Sloan Kettering in NYC told her there was nothing more they could do to fight the cancer, she took treatment into her own hands. She drove herself to Oklahoma for 3 weeks in an alternative cancer treatment facility. While there, I sent her things that I hoped would be an encouragement.
The second letter I wrote to Luke. After she passed in January, 2012, we travelled to Pennsylvania for her memorial service and then attended an evening in her honor at Fry's Spring Beach Club, where she had coached swimming and impacted high schoolers for so many years. Dan collected memories that night in order to compile a scrapbook for Luke. I pray my words for Luke will help keep some memories alive for him as he grows up.
October 2011__________________________________________________
Dear Jill,
You have been on my heart since I met you. I truly believe there is a reason that we
ended up living next to each other on Burnet St. I think the Lord brought us together not for
built-in entertainment for the boys (although that was awesome!), but so that
we could make an impact on each other.
You have definitely made an impact on me and I wanted you to know
that. You are a kind, sincere,
considerate, FUNNY, person with a huge
heart. That is no accident. As a Christian, I believe these are traits
that Christ calls us to put into practice.
The “fruits of the Spirit”, as God describes them in Galatians 5:22-23,
are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
and self-control. I see all these in
you! Never a day goes by that I exhibit
all of these, but I pray that never a day goes by that I don’t show one of
these to the world in hopes of being a good example for Christ. He died for my sins, so the least I can do is
try to be a good example on His behalf.
As described in the Bible Study workbook I’m doing this fall, “No branch
eats its own fruit, but instead, it bears fruit for others to consume. In the
same way, the Holy Spirit cultivates the fruit in us to nourish others. “ My prayer for you is that you can recognize
the gifts of these fruits with which you have been blessed. Since I am not good with words and don’t know
how to effectively share my Faith in God and my belief that He sent his son,
Jesus Christ, to die for my sins, I hope that my actions in life can replace my
loss for words. I don’t know what He has
planned for me in this life, but there is nothing that truly frightens me as I
know what awaits me.
Since before we moved away from Burnet St., I have felt
burdened to share certain things with you.
I have failed to do so only because of my own selfish insecurities. But I am feeling called to move beyond
that. I need to feel secure in our
friendship and trust that you will feel something positive from my words. Perhaps you’ll feel compelled to question
something new. Perhaps you’ll feel drawn
to let me pray for you sometime. Perhaps
you’ll decide to pray to God yourself and let Jesus Christ into your
heart. I don’t know, but I pray God will
use me as an instrument to work in your heart and help bring you peace.
I believe I was put here to make some sort of positive
difference in the world. I do not know
why God allows suffering, but I do have a theory. When I suffer, it jolts me out of complacency
and into action! I could get so wrapped
up in the kids and the household and the daily routine that I could accomplish nothing more beyond
that. But if I don’t get myself beyond
that, am I doing anything to help others?
Am I doing anything to help spread the good news of the Word? So little by little, I try to grow stronger
in my Faith and I try to grow more secure in my ability to share it, or at
least exhibit it. Perhaps I have shared
some hope for you today. I don’t know
why we suffer, but I do have hope that God knows what He is doing. There is a greater purpose for everything and
everyone. When I reach His Kingdom, it
will all become clearJ And I know that whenever He brings people
home, it’s because He needs them more.
You have brought me joy, Jill, and for that, I am extremely
thankful. I hope our friendship will
continue to grow. I love you and look forward to seeing you Saturday!
“God who has made us for his very purpose and has given us
the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come (eternal life).” 2 Corinthians 5: 5
“He died for all, that those who live should no longer live
for themselves but for him who dies for them and was raised again.” 2 Corinthians 5: 15
“’Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will
give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and
humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.’” Matthew 11: 28-29
“The Lord watches over you…the Lord is your shade at your
right hand. The Lord will keep you from
all harm…he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and
going both now and forevermore.”
Excerpts from Psalm 121
“Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness
no one can fathom….The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on
him in truth. He fulfills the desires of
those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him.” Excerpts from Psalm 145
February 2012___________________________________________________
Dear Luke,
What
a simply awesome girl your Mom was! There
is no other way to put it. Your Mom was
the first person I met in Charlottesville when we moved from Denver. We lived next door to you guys on Burnet St.
from November 2009 – May 2010. Our moving
truck was practically blocking your driveway when she walked up to me with her
kind smile and introduced herself. We
talked for a few minutes and I thought, “Whew!
Thank goodness we have nice neighbors!”.
From there, a comforting friendship began to blossom. She invited me to a jewelry party at your
house that week. We bought the same
necklace, just in different colors. Every
time I wear it, I think of her.
Your
Mom was a bright light in our little Burnet St. complex. She was friendly with everyone and got her
exercise chasing you and Jake around the grounds. You and Andrew quickly befriended each other,
always darting back and forth between each other’s houses. Andrew got a train table for Christmas that
year and you loved coming over to play
with it. Often, your Mom and I would sit
and chat about what in the world we were doing with you boys and how to raise
you well. We laughed and grimaced,
comparing notes on being first time mothers and how to keep 2 & 3 year old
boys from controlling us! Then we’d get
you outside into the sunshine to play while we’d sip on a glass of wine. Those were good times. They were nice afternoons, sometimes turning into
fun evenings.
Your
Mom and Dad were even generous enough to “babysit” Andrew for us while we’d go
out to dinner. Our houses were so close
together that we’d put Andrew to bed, then take the video monitor over to your
house. It worked great for everyone, I
just wish they could have joined us for dinnerJ I stood in your driveway one night watching fireworks
over downtown Cville with her and we shoveled LOTS of snow together. Charlottesville got record snow that winter
that she swore we brought with us from Colorado! We got THREE foot+ storms three weekends in a
row. All we could do was laugh, shovel,
have a drink, pass the shovel, and dig some moreJ Your Mom was such a good conversationalist
and always made me feel important. We
kept each other company when Michael was gone and your Dad was working.
When
we bought a new house, we were excited, but immediately sad to be leaving you
and your parents. We knew it wouldn’t be
far, but we knew we wouldn’t see you everyday anymore and that made us sad. But we met you downtown for a concert one
Friday and had you over to our pool to swim.
You were already a great
swimmer, thanks to your Mom. She was an
incredible athlete. Her biggest passion
was for swimming, but she also loved biking, snowboarding, surfing, and
anything else that would get her heart rate up and keep her in such great
shape. In addition to swimming herself,
she loved coaching. She had a sincere desire to teach children of
all ages how to swim, but she was one of the extra special ones. She had an impact on those kids (both at
Charlottesville High in the winter and at Fry’s Spring in the summer) that is
impossible to measure. Her kids trusted
her. Her kids learned from her. Her kids looked up to her. Her kids confided
in her. She was the mother that some
kids at CHS didn’t have. She was the
supportive sister that many of them craved.
She was the role model that many of them lacked. They were so lucky to have her.
Jill
was lucky to have you, Luke. You were
the light of her life. She adored
everything about you. She loved your curls
and your freckles. She loved the way you
sucked your left thumb. She was proud of
how you declared that you would stop sucking your thumb on your 4th
birthday. As we laughed together in
Greenleaf Park on your 4th birthday, she celebrated that you had
indeed stopped sucking your thumb! She
made me laugh, Luke. She made me
cry. She let me cry on her shoulder. She listened to me. She befriended me. But most importantly, she taught you and my
sweet Andrew how to shake your booties.
I was too much of a stick in the mud when you boys were little to worry
about such silliness, but your Mom taught me how important that was. She shook her booty with you boys until you
would do it on cue. It was
priceless. And we all laughed.
When
I think of your Mom, I remember her hospitality towards me and the special
friendship I thought was just beginning and prayed I would have forever. I think of her warmth, kindness, generosity,
big smile and even bigger heart. I think
of love. I will always miss her, Luke,
but I look forward to watching her grow through you and seeing her again someday.
Much
Love,
Elizabeth
Killian
Only AFTER cheese is spread do you apply pepperonies (at least to Andrew's pizza- this tradition started when Andrew was 2 and didn't believe us when we ensured him that the pepperoni was indeed on his pizza, only it was hidden under the cheese).
Mom and Dad's pizza get green olives and jalepenos on top. Andrew still hasn't tried either (though he used to hot banana peppers straight out of the jar!), but Margaret is well on her way to enjoying both...
"Halftime entertainment" - while the pizzas cook, Margaret enjoys being rolled around the house in a dumptruck. Who wouldn't?!? (She really did love it - her look of concern is that they stopped momentarily for the photo op!).
